My mo-ping face… Finally my ear is recovering & my earring finally shows up but still abit red red…
Amazing how things turn out to be. Not something I expect but at least now I see things clearly. See things that I din know in the past…
I’m really scare of going home. Thinking that whether I will die or not… It’s naturally isn’t it? I’m actually more afraid of his hurting words… When you experience those hurting words, then you will know how I feel… But I guess only I know it for now….
I’m very lucky that my dear allows me to hide at his place for the time being. He even make effort into fetching me at bus stop where he seldom do it in the past. Very sweet of him…
Was still feeling very down but when I’m being greet by the 2 rascals, everything feels so nice & my mood indeed improves alot. They have grow taller abit & talks even more now with ‘Crystal Jiejie’ keeps coming to my ears until I buay tahan also… Which make his home more noisy but when it becomes quiet, I believe I won’t get use to it also…
With a much happier mood, I slowly noticed that my dear has slim down alot le… So kelian… He’s already skinny enough le, now even more skeleton then before… Still can feel that he’s still quiet but trying to be open to me and really care for me. Without a word, he prepare bread for me knowing that I didn’t have my lunch. All these, I really appreciate cos I know he wants nothing in return. All he wants is me being happy & honest to him…
As usual, I got busy with work. Yes, after office hours…. What can I do??? I’m so depressed & stressed during office hours that I ended up on the phone since noon… So no work was done… Still there’s pending work and I’m paid to do work… So I do it after settling my bread in my stomach. Got really tired after that, means I got use my brains…
Very happy that his family still accepts me after what I have done to him… The power of love really can change alot of things. It melts everyone’s heart but will incur something opposite as well, depends on what one’s think.
Was shocked to see his blog… Indeed it did hurt me alot but who cares, right? I wonder who is the married man that I slept with & with a name called Vinz. Yes, I do know someone called Vinz. He’s my online msn friend & we never met, whether he’s married or not, I do not know. Now I know why I got a weird internet sms by a person called Vinz finally. He must have mistaken me of someone else & might have my number from him cos like I said before, only my family, Gary & Ginny got my number. Truely surprise me… When I asked Vinz through msn, asking him how come he got my mobile, he was puzzled too. Now I tell him all these, he’s doubly puzzled… His message makes me laugh: ‘long distance over the air sex?’, he really makes me laugh… And thanks Vinz for scolding me & wake me up. I get your point but I believe ppl easily… It really puzzled me out & I kept squeezing my brains out thinking who is that guy…. In my life, I only involved 2 married men… Of course, both I can’t say who to protect them from divorcing so no one know who are they & I never mention to anyone unless they want to hurt their wives. Only 1 that I slept with who treats me very well and we ended our relationship when I start relationship with Charles. From then onwards, we don’t really communicate too… We know our limits. And only my dear knows who he is. 🙂
I don’t know why he thinks that I’m with him cos of his $, maybe bcos he thinks that he has wasted all his $ on me. Still I lose more than 1k of my $ and ended up pawning my gold. Not only the GE loan that I took up recently to help. Yes, 7k of loan. I know I must be stupid, when u in love, u will do anything right? I believe eric is reading these and he should know that 3 yrs 7k loan will result in me paying $271 monthly. As I said super long ago that the money that I loaned out I have to keep in mind that I will have to repay it myself… Cos no matter what, the loan is under my name. I’m still glad that I’m able to help in some ways… That’s what I have kept to myself all these while. Don’t want others to worry about me, just want to solve it myself. At least I know I did not steal or do illegal things. I just want to repay my debts slowly for now. In another 1-2 mths time, I have to worry about car insurance, worst case scenario, I have to sell car or get ntuc monthly insurance. Sorry april & mic, I didn’t have chance to save up for your angbao cos I never thot I will go to your wedding & thanks for inviting. 🙂
For all that I have lose, I know I can earn back the $, I can pawn back my gold. I’m still contented with what I have.
Today is very sweet day where dear send me to work even though he’s tired for sleeping late. Blur me forget my lappy and sotong me gets to meet up with him one more time with another goodbye kiss… Hehehe…
Very normal day that I get to eat breakfast & lunch with Shar. No Will today cos he’s on leave… Very busy day as usual… Headache came & lucky I got kopi to suppress it for awhile. Don’t think it will last long… Just feeling tired…
Glad to off work soon & waiting to meet my love again…
Very sweet of Ika my Indonesia friend & april for the support. Never know I’m being watched by them… Haha.. But it’s ok, my blog is for public so I’m fine with it. Just feeling sweet to have them around me and providing the support. Thanks!!!
~ 被宠坏的水晶雪 ~ 
“Just hanging there..dear” you got my back…