Accident…

May 31, 2007

Yeah, alex, again I must agree with your ‘Therefore, what comes around goes around. That’s life, try to leave with it.’

Yesterday night i did something illegal by not putting parking coupons… Take it as testing my heng suay level… In the end me lucky lor… Don’t know consider good sign or not…

Haiz… I don’t like the idea of seeing doctor cause it reminds me of 可可 & 言言.. The pain that of losing them & can’t have them by my side…. Every night i’m not able to hug them only wishes to see them in my dreams… Think I should go get myself a dog… Have a young puppy to pamper… If possible can hug him and have him accompany me everyday… How i wish… But i don’t know whether i got the commitment to keep one… Commitment in chinese is 承诺… Weird translation… (Thanks to meimei’s help) Whether i can promise to take care of him as long as he’s alive. And whether he can stay by my side till his last breathe…

Have you seen someone eating & crying at the same time? Well it only show in tv cause we humans don’t do that in public. Our emotion is only shown within ourselves.. So sad… But this way of eating is the worst taste that one can have.. Imagine the food still forcing itself down the throat and the pain feeling from the heart is very unbearable… So leh, be glad that u are eating with your love & family…

Gin accompany me to alot of places… She brought me to this temple & pray to 金花娘娘… Even ask me to remember where’s the location cause I have to come here & pray when I’m pregnant… But too bad… The actual fact is that I have no fate to be a mother in the first place… Hahaha…

Just now accident leh… I go kiss ppl’s backside… Think I was too depressed at that time to cause that accident… But that uncle also very funny la… Ask me to move my car as he wanna move out… I already park swee swee lor… I think he felt guilty about it too…
First time in my life that i encounter accident & it’s my fault & I’m still feel happy about it… Before all these, I was feeling quite devastated, just like a zombie with no feelings… This accident regains my feelings somehow… I was having this excited feeling…
I was even more delighted when I immediate ask the uncle how much to pay… Woah… I was shocked by my immediate response to solve things… That uncle went dumb but still he replied 100… Before he tell me, I already counting my notes… Hahaha… Uncle even help me pick up my EGR… Hehehe… This whole incident taught me something… Everything can be solved the easy way if you can response as early as possible. If there’s any delay, it will cause further stress & it might be beyond solving le…
I know that my sincerity of sorry & willingness to solve it immediately make the uncle really happy about it.. Nobody wants anything bad to happen… Even if it does happens, solve it!!!! 😉


贱货 aka bitches

May 31, 2007

My bloggy has been a very happy one for long long time le… Why leh? Cause want him to be happy when he see me happy right? Bullshit la… So when I unhappy how? When something bad happen to me how? Keep quiet lor… Don’t let anyone know that’s i’m suffering or being hurt lor… That’s the stupid me lor… *Trying to keep back the tears*

I know that he has never love me lor… In his heart he has somebody else… If ppl that are positive, they will try to be win his heart… If ppl that are negative, they will have left him long long ago… Anyway I don’t find it shameful that nobody loves me… Just that this world makes me feel ugly… Anyone with good looks good figure good character & has a hole to fuck on, consider good gf ba… Isn’t it? How many buayas I’ve seen in my entire life? Have they done anything good in my life???? I must say only alex did… (PS. Don’t need to be yaya cause you improve my life but destroy part of it already) But I really dam agree on the theory that we girls give ppl fuck for free… Alex, I must really agree with you lor… So girls out there, do you feel that we all are worst than prostitute? At least they get paid doing the job… But what do we get? Husband/bf screw another girl, Unfaithful treatment, Neglected, Unappreciate treatment? That’s why we are like bitches/贱货…

And I started to understand is not that god didn’t treat me well… He’s looking at everyone as well, not only me… Retribution has befall on him… He can continue to do the wrong things by wooing more girls and get worse things happened in his life… Some things I don’t need to see by my ownself… The god see, other ppl see… I will still do the things that I feel right, I’m still human, I got limits to certain things too… Everyone knows how good I am but I’m never being appreciated & what can be worse? No matter how good I am, things won’t work out with me being the 100% goddess & only me working so hard… And I still keep convincing myself that it’s his character… But actual fact, I’m not someone he loves that’s why I’m being treat that way… Maybe god knows i’m too good so he never makes him loves me… But makes him loves those that left, betray him… Retribution in the house…

Everyone knows my bday had just passed… Looks happy, written happily but nothing was like that at all… For god’s sake, it’s my bday… Does anyone cares???? Yes, gin & irene cares… Gin know that i’m all alone on my actual day & she makes really big effort to buy a cake just to celebrate my lonely bday… I’m suppose to be happy but came the call from mil scolding gin & me upside down… What??? My bday I kenna scold & my buddy kenna scold for celebrating my bday cause I’m alone???? I know it’s not her fault… She’s 心疼 her son for waiting alone at home… But the whole actual fact is that I’m all ALONE on my bday & I agree to give tuition cause nobody will ask me out cause I got bf… I’m already depressed enough to spend it alone then kenna blame… Then what? I have to rush to meet bf? Why leh? He din ask me to go over ma… Ya, all my fault again… So this is how I’m being appreciate… My bday is i date bf.. Not bf date me wor… But I forgive him for surprising me with flowers… But still damage already been done…

The insecurity is always there… I always had this feeling that we are together cause he has not found someone better so he’s stuck with me… How irony & hurting? But that’s the feeling i get… But still I still do my BEST as a GF, I gave what I can give… Helping out to clean his room shows that I care for his well-being… I never let other ppl to have chance to be 3rd party even there’s opportunities shows that I know how hurt it is if it’s another way round… I never initate to call/sms him cause I don’t want to disturb him with his work/outings… Maybe gave him too much freedom.. I was so envy how KY has love his gf in the past, how he can’t get over her, how he wishes that she will come back to him… Cause I can feel his appreciation towards her…. But who reallys know what happen between them, maybe she found another guy, maybe he did neglect her before she left him… I wanna voice it out before things get worsen beyond repair, maybe one day another bitch/贱货 will replace me… PS>It’s normal to call myself bitch cause I’m female dog… Haha

Peng, so now you understand why I don’t want any relationship in future… The hurt that I have experience makes me feel cheap… Nobody knows how appreciate me… All I ask for is someone that are faithful to me but papa say it’s IMPOSSIBLE… Haiz… So sad… Maybe find an old fat man with no hair & no $, confirm nobody wanna snatch him away from me…. Hahaha…

Ok, once again… I eat nothing (Very very hungry but can’t bring myself to eat)… But gin say got 豆花 & 油条 for me… So see eat liao will vomit or not… At least I got a buddy to accompany on this holiday… I’m just a lonely poor girl that need pity… Hehehehe… Too bad irene got to work so can’t ask her out and only today my vampire car can go out… Hahaha…


That’s why I love this song…

我受够了等待你所谓的安排说的未来到底多久才来
总是要来不及才知道我可爱我想依赖而你却都不在
应该开心的地带你给的全是空白一个人假日发呆找不到人陪我看海
我在幸福的门外却一直都进不来你累积给的伤害我是真的很难释怀
终於看开爱回不来而你总是太晚明白最后才把话说开哭著求我留下来
终於看开爱回不来我们面前太多阻碍你的手却放不开宁愿没出息求我别离开
你总是要我乖慢慢计划将来我的眼泪却一直掉下来
过去怎黱交代你该给的信赖被你亲手缓缓推入悬崖
从我脸上的苍白看到记忆慢下来过去甜蜜在倒带只是感觉已经不在
而我对你的期待被你一次次摔坏已经碎成太多块要怎黱拼凑跟重来
终於看开爱回不来而你总是太晚明白最后才把话说开哭著求我留下来
终於看开爱回不来我们面前太多阻碍你的手却放不开宁愿没出息求我别离开


Bored… Lonely…

May 30, 2007

Nothing to do today… Except have to wait for my ipod to deliver to my home…

Not feeling well so knock myself out on bed… Just right when I woke up, the deliveryman came… Nowadays really nothing to do so will play Sudoku!!!! Wash clothes & jogging will be my usual chores.. Although my weight is 50 now but not a least I feel happy about it… Cause now still feeling depressed… Unless I suddenly inherit 1mil of will… *Wait long long*

Nothing has improved since I complained so much… Only get worse…

Tomorrow holiday, gonna spend alone anyway so might as well go teach tuition… That’s the reason I don’t like holidays… Only makes me feel worst… Lucky thing is that the next one is on Aug, i guess… But what’s worry me is that Oct got 1 full week of holidays… *-*


Heartbeat

May 30, 2007

Looks like my left eye jump like another heartbeat orh… Abit irriated lor… What to do? Now what? Wanna vomit but can’t leh… I wish to vomit lor… At least I can take MC and go home rest… It’s like hanging up there & nothing can be done….

What’s worst? Sharmaine pull me all the way to bishan… Why leh? Cause me too kind so hor I can’t refuse, even i reject several times… So what for to have a mouth that says ‘No’????

At least there’s one good news… I go my pay liao… So what leh? Better than no pay right? So it consider good news ba, i guess….

Thanks dear for the sayang… Appreciate alot as it did calm me down alot….

Wanna vomit so bought this to at least force something out… In the end, Sharmaine can’t finish her fillet so i bo pian eat lor… In hope that I can vomit the fishy out… But nothing came out… 好辛苦啊!!!

Mcdonald’s offer… I want it but it’s made of cloth… I want plastic/rubber (Just want it to be solid then soft soft material) de… But don’t have… O_o

Our Singapore $10,000 note shows our Finance… Never will i have this note cause I not stupid to hold such big note with me…

$1,000 show Government…. What a good indication… So means that our money is control by Government & Finance… What do you think???


Fasting….

May 30, 2007

No food for me today…. What’s the point of forcing myself to eat leh? I rather see how it goes and eat when my mind is finally at peace (I hope it really be at peace)….

Think nobody will understand the pain that I went through… I rather not let anyone understand it… It’s my fault for going through all these…. My fault for being to kind & nice… That’s the stupid me that everyone love… But it only allows myself to suffer in pain alone…. Then the same old sayings came: *Nobody force you to do that, you do it on your own will*. So I should say 我活该.. I deserve it…


Depressed…

May 29, 2007

The feeling of depression keeps growing… Leaving me standing there helplessly…. Ah… Who gonna save me??? Only the god liao…. OMG!!! Please do something before I breakdown again… I don’t need you to treat me good… Just don’t treat me that bad… It’s hurts me & everyone around me… 😦


Lefty….

May 29, 2007

Once again my left eye jump… Think it’s diagnosed with jumpy sickness… Or is it something bad gonna happen… I wonder… Only the guy up there knows… What a nice life I have…

Wonder when’s candy barbie gonna contact me? Still haven’t got chance to meet her… Am I too busy nowadays?? That’s good… Keep myself busy so I won’t feel that time is too slow… Old liao, keep forgetting things…

Today no lunch again… Not hungry… Consider good right? No need to spend $… Finance running low… Gonna pay for didi’s school fees then comes meimei’s school fees… Never ask me why I don’t upgrade myself… How to study when there’s a family to support????


Cannibals‎

May 29, 2007

A great story of the role of management

Recently, a large corporation hired several cannibals to increase their diversity. “You are all part of our team now,” said the Human Resources rep,duringthe welcoming briefing. “You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don’t eat any employees”

The cannibals promised they would not

Four weeks later their boss remarked, “You’re all working very hard andI’m satisfied with your work. We have noticed a marked increase in the whole company’s performance. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?”The cannibals all shook their heads, “No” After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, “Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?” A hand rose hesitantly. “You fool; the leader continued. “For four weeks we’ve been eating managers and no one noticed anything. But NOW, you had to go and eat someone who actually does something!


Public Holiday: Vesak Day 31-May (Thu)

May 29, 2007

Just wanna let my dear know it’s holiday on Thurs… 🙂

Tomorrow might go cafe del mar orh… But very far hor… Can wear bikini and swim leh… Woohoo… Hehehe…. So dark, i think i will scare lor… :p


Bday wishes via email…

May 29, 2007

Really appreciate those who make an effort to call me or sms me your blessings… Not to forget my dearest gin & irene surprise cakes for me… It’s always the thots that count alot in my heart… ^-^

From TP(May 24, 2007 5:55:48 PM )
They always send the same thing but I really appreciate that… 😀


From Great Eastern (May 24, 2007 3:01:49 AM )
We at VR-Zone IT & Lifestyle Forum! would like to wish you a happy birthday today!


From VR-Zone IT & Lifestyle Forum (May 24, 2007 3:01:49 AM )
We at VR-Zone IT & Lifestyle Forum! would like to wish you a happy birthday today!


From ClubSNAP (May 24, 2007 3:00:09 AM )
We at ClubSNAP Photography Forums would like to wish you a happy birthday today!


From Jobstreet (May 22, 2007 11:36:41 PM )

Dear Crystal,
I notice your birthday is coming up on 24 May 2007.
Here is a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY from all of us at JobStreet.com, and we wish you many many happy returns! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Thank you for being a JobStreet.com member and we wish you all the best in your career and a great year ahead.
Best regards,
LiNa, JobStreet.com